


Delicious

by Cryllia



Category: Bioware RPF
Genre: Bioware owns your soul, Crack and Angst, Gen, Sad, Sadism, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 02:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryllia/pseuds/Cryllia
Summary: They don't just do it for the money - they get kicks out of it too!





	Delicious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Orchidellia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orchidellia/gifts), [alamerysl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alamerysl/gifts), [ravelqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravelqueen/gifts), [mechanicaljewel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechanicaljewel/gifts), [elmyra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elmyra/gifts).



Once upon a time...

There was a video game company named 'Bioware'. This company was well known for putting out quality immersive games. One of those games was called Mass Effect. The people writing Mass Effect thought it would be hilarious if they put an incredibly sexy alien assassin named Thane Krios in for all the fans to fall in love with, only to have him die shortly thereafter. It was even funnier to them to add in a line about how Thane could have been saved if he hadn't been so stubborn. Hilarious.

So when Bioware announced a new project, titled 'Dragon Age', you'd better believe the fans said 'Horray! A new game that won't be so dark and sad like Mass Effect was!' but oh, how mistaken they were. Dragon Age was a dark fantasy setting complete with racism, slavery, evil running rampant, and, of course, favorite character deaths.  After all, the main character canonically dies at the end while saving the world!  

"Its not enough..." Said the main writer to his team.  "We need something that will really make the fans weep."

They worked long hours and ate too much cold pizza and soda.  They wrote, tore up scripts, tore out hair, started from scratch, and then wrote again.

"YES!"  The lead shouted, cackling evilly.  "This is perfect!"

It took three games, numerous DLCs, several comics, a web series, and even more books, but in the end, it was done, and Bioware's evil was released upon the world.  Everything had been set up perfectly.  He was a mild mannered mage, a bit too in love with the past and the world of dreams.  If Player chose his path, she was an inquisitive bright young thing, enamored of her professor.  The two delved into a forbidden relationship, before he realized the mistake he was making and backed away.  It was sad, but not _tragic_ , the way Bioware wanted; it wasn't heart wrenching.  Then the first of two bombs was dropped in a stinger.  He was actually a powerful elvhen god.  Player had been in love with a **god**.

Bioware, as a collective entity, steepled their fingers with a wicked smile and began preparing the second bomb.  A year later, Dragon Age: Trespasser was released.  Bioware sat back and watched as the reactions rolled in.

They could have bathed in a clawfoot tub of fan tears.  They fillied their goblets with the sorrow of ten-thousand broken hearts and toasted their victory over fandom.

 

 

And the tears were delicious.


End file.
